I am tired of the same SOP (standard operating procedure).
Guy or girl calls, asks the other out for a date.
You meet in a casual, noisy restaurant — at first with a dash of nervousness, but after the nth time, confidently as you know you’ve been through all this before.
You check him out.
Is he wearing some sort of perfume?
Cologne?
What is he wearing?
Is he wearing to impress (suit, tie, check) or is he out for something casual (shorts and flip-flops… eeeh)?
You order something nice from the menu, offer to share, then start the conversation.
He is flattered by all the attention.
And why not?
You basically talk about him and revolve the talk around the topics he’s interested in.
Some guys talk about business and their houses in Europe.
Others talk about their MBA degrees.
Some talk about their families, the type of women they like to date…
…and often times, the talk break out to a psychiatry session that makes you wonder if you should send them the bill afterwards.
You end the dinner by the strike of midnight — a girl still has to work.
It ends in different ways.
But ultimately, he usually calls you to ensure you get home safe, or drops you at the door.
Afterwards, you shower, read the Economist and then go to bed.
If he’s interested, chances are, he’ll call within 3 days of meeting you.
He usually does — the book is true, if he’s interested, he’ll contact you.
3 days is the clincher… works every time.
Anyway, if he doesn’t call again, oh well.
Another one bites the dust.
One moves on and there’s usually another one that comes and then goes.
My best friend btw thinks my life is the best.
She loves to hear me talk on how different types of people I get to meet, the places I go and see, and the food I try out from a new restaurant.
It’s a bit misleading.
I’m tired of all of this actually — this whole cycle of going out and dating.
Trust me, it is a bit overrated.
I mean, don’t get me wrong… it’s nice, but after the nth outing, you’re like, “Oh, here we go again.”
The excitement and joy are gone, because you know it’ll be wash, rinse and repeat.
Another date later in the week — when is this going to end?
Aiya, wash, rinse and repeat. š
“…and often times, the talk break out to a psychiatry session that makes you wonder if you should send them the bill afterwards.”
– ahahaha! So very true! I can’t imagine a better ‘killer’ than that… particularly when someone brings up a premade list of partner’s qualities š
Maybe a too-dumb-to-be-obvious piece of advice, but while I can understand your thoughts about misleading opinions others have about you, have you tried changing dates for some really simple places?
I often find that the best way to find out if I really like someone (and vice versa) is to try some of the simplest, “boring” places. Only if there’s no real interest, i.e. ‘chemistry’ around, am I going to be worried about all the details such as where are we going – and a dinner, as you mention in detail, has thousands of such distracting ‘checks’. Or at least… perhaps then the conversation would revolve a bit less about him and more about you?
Cheers!
Goran
How about talking about their emotional (be it ex-gfs, their moms, their jobs, etc.) issues? Talk about a damper to the conversation… some call it opening up to the other. Is it really though?
Re: venues, yup… usually like really simple places I’ve already been in. Most places are my faves so I’m at least comfortable and can at least enjoy the meal. No fine dining for me, unless the guy specifically requests it. š
Re: conversation revolving around me, no need really. So long as it doesn’t revolve around skeletons in closets (too much info on the initial dates), it’s fine.