What’s the best relationship advice you can give someone?

Reposted from my answer in Quora:

This advice has saved me from years of heartache: Always Mirror, Never Chase.

When I meet a guy, I always mirror his interest.

I wait for him to make the first move.

If he texts me, I don’t play hard to get. If I get a message, I give a decent reply.

There’s no playing games.

No waiting for hours before texting him back to show him I’m not desperate. No hee or haw when he asks me out on a date. If I am free, I say yes. Otherwise, it’s a no with a legit reason for saying no.

When guys know you’re honest, they appreciate that.

I don’t chase after a guy.

If he ghosts me after a date, it’s fine. I just shrug it off. When he texts me weeks later, I still reply. Until the time he ghosts me again, and then I stop replying.

This allows me to filter guys who are genuinely interested in me.

Guys who are interested keep on calling. Since they know I don’t play any games, they try to “get” me and block off my free time whenever they can. Apparently, my way of flirting is very refreshing so they keep coming back for more.

After a breakup, I don’t chase.

I used to chase and it was embarrassing. Not anymore.

After the breakup convo, I cry. In private. I go out with friends and keep my social media status calm and normal. Nobody knows how broken I am inside.

With the last guy I dated, I cried for four months.

He didn’t know. Nobody knew.

I was the sane girlfriend who didn’t go crazy after a breakup. Guys appreciate that. And I got to keep my dignity especially after I found out he had a third party on the side.

Keep it classy!

The two advice allowed me to date graciously without too much fuss. I always kept my eyes open and never really refused any date. I never assumed and just focused on having a good time.

Happily married now so guess it worked! 

Regardless, I look at every single guy I dated as a happy experience, and I am so glad I can look back at my dating history and be proud that I never really did anything that I now regret.


About Tina

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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